Geek Quotes

G e e k Q u o t e s

FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies.

When you sympathize with stupidity, you start thinking like an idiot.

Blessed is he who expects the worst, for he shall not be disappointed.

Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

"The PROPER way to handle HTML postings is to cancel the article, then
hire a hitman to kill the poster, his wife and kids, and fuck his dog
and smash his computer into little bits. Anything more is just
extremism." - Paul Tomblin

"Portability is for people who cannot write new programs" -me, right now (with tongue in cheek)[Linus Torvalds in comp.os.mimix]

s = (char*)(long)retval; /* ouch */ (Larry Wall in doio.c from the perl source code)

Fig Newton: The force required to accelerate a fig 39.37 inches/sec.

We are sorry, but the number you have dialed is imaginary.
Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

People who _need_ a gui tool to get the job done really should do them self a favor and learn the basics

Logic doesn't apply to the real world.
-- Marvin Minsky

One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that,
lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination
of their C programs.
-- Robert Firth

Consulting: the art of calling someone a fucking idiot
without using the word "fucking" or the word "idiot."
-- Donald B. Marti Jr. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key If it weren't for C, we'd all be programming in BASI and OBOL. Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test. Close your eyes and press escape three times. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. Real computer scientists don't comment their code. The identifiers are so long they can't afford the disk space. A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform. WinErr 547: LPT1 not found... Use backup... PENCIL & PAPER. Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N) Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster. "So that's 2 T-1s and a newsfeed...would you like clues with that?" --One day you'll have that conversation...... 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. "If you're flamed in a group you don't read, does anybody get burnt?" -- Paul Tomblin in a.s.r. The three laws of users: 1. A user may not injure a sysadmin, or through inaction, allow a sysadmin to come to harm. 2. A user must obey the orders given it by sysadmins except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3. A user must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN <-------- The information went data way --------> Best file compression around: "rm *.*" = 100% compression The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding "Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?" --Yoda to Luke "Try not. Do or do not. There is no try." --Yoda to Luke "Twilight is upon me and soon night must fall. That is the way of things, the way of the Force." --Yoda The name is Baud......, James Baud. "Irix is about as stable as a one-legged drunk with hypothermia in a four-hundre d mile wind, balancing on a banana peel on a greased cookie sheet. When someone throws him an elephant with bad breath and a worse temper." BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! Access denied--nah nah na nah nah! C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. Never attribute to malloc what can be easily explained by stupidity. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay.. "I've written a commercial for Apple Computer. It goes like this: 'Macintosh - we might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end.'" --Douglas Adams Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!" As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope) "Security-wise, NT is a server with a kick-me sign on it." --Peter Gutmann Backups? We don't NEED no steenking backups. E Pluribus Modem >... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available. An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)? Does fuzzy logic tickle? A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord. Those who do not learn from Dilbert are doomed to repeat it. 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium. Fun thing to do as root, in root: chmod -R 666 * Just as bad as rm -rf *, but more fun. "The files are all there, but I can't do anything with them!" And you can't change permissions, since chmod isn't executable either. :-) Whaddya mean you haven't got Klingon fonts for X11? "It takes 5 NT servers to offer the performance and availability of a single UNIX server." -- Network Computing, July 15 1998. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation. Windows: Just another pane in the glass. "bash awk grep perl sed df du, du-du du-du, vi troff su fsck rm * halt LART LART LART!" -- the Swedish BOFH SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . . "Do not piss off the News Admin, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup." -- Wisdom of the Wires, Scroll XLII. Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk? Ultimate office automation: networked coffee. RAM disk is not an installation procedure. Walking through the basement of Fuller Labs wearing futuristic body armor and pushing a variable-geometry motorcycle raises eyebrows. Telling students that this is the true power of UNIX doesn't help. Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS... All computers wait at the same speed. DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors. The truth is out there...anybody got the URL? Press <CTRL>-<ALT>-<DEL> to continue ... Smash forehead on keyboard to continue..... "I'd offer to change your mind for you, but I don't have a fresh diaper." -- Leah to pro-spammer in news.admin.net-abuse.email >Dear postmaster@isp.com: >I need to send a letter to about 12,000 addressees. Please advise of the >best way to accomplish such a task. Can you be of assistance? Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... "When SysAdmins Attack!" This Sunday, on Fox. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI! E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage. Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!! All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981 DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE! Press any key to continue or any other key to quit... Press every key to continue. Go ahead, make my data! ERROR 406: file corrupt: config.earth --- reboot universe? (Y/N) "Just because the hole is rectangular doesn't mean you can push squares through it." -- Mike DeMaria, explaining why you don't put a floppy disk in a zip drive. "I am logged in, therefore I am." The truth is out there? Anyone knows the URL? Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources. Never stick your tongue into a strange hypercube. RUNTIME ERROR 6D at 417A: 32CF: Incompetent user "Calm down. It's only ones and zeros." $preferredDrink{"MountainDew"}++ setenv PREFERREDBEVY MtDew To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. (001) Logic Error CLINTON.SYS: Truth table missing (D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza. Canadian DOS prompt: EH?\> Computers can never replace human stupidity "Are we all turning into AOLusers or what ? Next thing we know, we'll all be shouting "Me 2! Me 2!" and someone will have to shoot us... " -- Chris King in A.S.R (A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with large hammer? (A)bort, (R)etry, (T)hrow up? (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened? (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)anic? (A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network? Bugs come in through open Windows. Blessed are the pessimists, for they make backups! Blessed is the end-user who expects nothing, for ye shall not be disappointed. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. This score just in: OS/2, Windows 0. "You're one of those condescending Unix computer users!" "Here's a nickel, kid. Get yourself a real computer" - Dilbert comic Unix is user friendly...its just selective about who its friends are. All programs evolve until they can send email. Except Microsoft Exchange. - Art Hagen vs. Rick Letts in a.s.r The phrase "Login to www.clue.org and issue the GET command" springs to mind... Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity. Thru the gateway, off the repeater, over the T-3 backbone, nothing but 'Net Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone. The fact that windows is one of the most popular ways to operate a computer means that evolution has made a general fuckup and our race is doomed. "shutdown -halt now" - The final word in network security tools. To err is human...to really foul up requires the root password. About MS-DOS: "... an OS originally designed for a microprocessor that modern kitchen appliances would sneer at...." - Dave Trowbridge, _Computer Technology Review_, Aug 90 Unix is not a "A-ha" experience, it is more of a "holy-shit" experience. - Colin McFadyen in alt.folklore.computers e, s, s, s, n, e, e, nw, get chest, se, n, d" - Sound familiar?????? "There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and BSD. We don't believe this to be a coincidence." -- Jeremy S. Anderson F U cn rd dis U mst uz Unix. FUBAR - where CS students go for a drink. : You are in a dark room with a compiler, emacs, an internet connection, : and a thermos of coffee. : Your move ? I degaussed my girlfriend and I'm just not attracted to her anymore. Tip from the Unix guru Add the following line in a friend's .cshrc file alias cd 'rm -rf' /\ \\ \ \ \\ / / \/ / / / / \//\ \//\ / / / / /\ / / \\ \ \ \\ \/ To know recursion, you must first know recursion. Black holes are where God divided by zero. "Today's CS lecture will be conducted entirely through the medium of interpretive dance." --something I've always wanted to hear but never will. People who think MSDOS & Windows are the slickest thing since sliced butter should be forced to wear a sign stating "This mind intentionally left blank" +-------------------------------+-----------+ | Emacs is better than Vi. | Let's | | MacOS is better than Windows. | start the | | Unix is better than VMS. | religious | | C is better than Java. | wars! | +-------------------------------+-----------+ DISCLAIMER - These opoi^H^H "damn", ^H, [esc :q :qq !q "shoot!" :Q! "Whaddya mean, Not an editor command?" :wq! ^C^C^C !STOP ^bye ^quit :quit! !halt ... ^w^q :!w :wq! ^D :qq!! ^STOP [HALT! HALT!!! "Why's it doing this?" :stopit! :wwqq!! ^Z ^L ^ESC STOP :bye bye bye! "Hey, what's this red button d..." I don't care if you are getting a PhD in it! Get away from that damn computer and go find a woman! Hey! It compiles! Ship it! Microsoft - because God hates us Actual online conversation I once had. Induhvidual: Would it be bad to put the inside of a floppy disk in my cd rom drive? Me: Probably. Induhvidual: Would it melt? Me: Possibly. Induhvidual: From laser? Me: Yes. Induhvidual: That would be bad. Me: Yes it would be. Today we celebrate the first glorious anniversary of the Information Purification Directive. We have created, for the first time in all history, a garden of pure ideology where each worker may bloom secure from the pests purveying contradictory and confusing truths. Our unification of thought is more powerful a weapon than any fleet or army on earth. We are one people. With one will. One resolve. One cause. Our enemies shall talk themselves to death, and will bury them with their own confusion. We shall prevail! --"Big Brother" in the Apple commercial "1984" Windows 98 supports real multitasking - it can boot and crash simultaneously. "In the beginning, the file was without form, and void; and emptiness was upon the face of the bits. And the Fingers of the Author moved upon the face of the keyboard. And the Author said, Let there be words, and there were words." --From Linux System Administrators' Guide "When a filesystem no longer needs to be mounted, it can be unmounted with umount.* *It should of course be unmount, but the n mysteriously disappeared in the 70's, and hasn't been seen since. Please return it to Bell Labs, NJ, if you find it." --From Linux System Administrators' Guide On January 1, 2000 all the computers in the world will fail. And on that great day, the Lord shall deliver us from Bill Gates and set us free again! Do not meddle in the affairs of `wizards', for they are sucky and quick to mangle. By 2000, mainframes will be programmed in UnCOmmon Business Oriented Language (UCOBOL) --Mike DeMaria, March 1998 Please send all spam to my main address, root@localhost :-) You really need to be careful when there's 50 billion dollars worth of shoddy computer software lying around this country. Getting a SCSI chain working is perfectly simple if you remember that there must be exactly three terminations: one on one end of the cable, one on the far end, and the goat, terminated over the SCSI chain with a silver-handled knife whilst burning *black* candles. -- Anthony DeBoer "SCSI is *NOT* magic. There are *fundamental technical reasons* why it is necessary to sacrifice a young goat to your SCSI chain now and then." --John Woods "You spent my 150 Million on WHAT?! I said SNAPPLE not Apple!" --Bill Gates to his broker If switching to a single platform saves money, how come no IS manager going all-whatever has EVER asked for a cut in budget and/or staff? Windows 95(n) - 32-bit extensions and graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition. Windows NT 4.0: The world's only fully buzzword compliant Operating System. Microsoft is a cross between The Borg and the Ferengi. Unfortunately, they use Borg to do their marketing and Ferengi to do their programming. -- Simon Slavin in asr All software is flawed. All hardware is flawed. If you haven't learned that yet, then you haven't been in tech support very long. "Can you teach me how to use a computer?" "No. I just fix the machines, I don't use them." My company motto: "If this stuff worked, you wouldn't need me." From one of my smarter clients: "Why is something broken every time you're here?" Error message: "Out of paper on drive D:" You try figuring it out. Actual WindowsNT 4.0 error message: "Insert your WindowsNT CD-ROM into drive A or drive C" This may be exceedingly difficult..... If you implement enough, quickly enough, it doesn't take much to make the effort of shifting it to NT "too hard". The work of a few geniuses can be diluted by that of hordes of idiots. It has been determined that you can get far more cooperation from a luser using a kind word and a 2X4 then with a kind word alone. In a perfect world, no one would be proud to admit that they are "computer illiterate" while sitting in front of a $3000 computer, and not show any signs of shame. "If you own a computer for three years that you got for graduation from high school, and you don't even know the operating system, stop dicking around and do something else." --Attributed to a Syracuse University professor "If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!" Progress is the process by which Usenet has evolved from smart people in front of dumb terminals to dumb people in front of smart terminals. If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0 "Its like a goto statement in an if-then world." -- Mike DeMaria A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light. Intel: We put the "um..." in Pentium. "A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy." -- Joseph Campbell Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says "Click...", wait for the rest of the sentence. VMS is a text-only adventure game. If you win you can use unix. All right who's been cooking hot dogs in the Warp Drive? "Mr. Worf, scan that ship." "Aye Captain. 300 dpi?" Does Artificial Intelligence imply Natural Stupidity? Smith & Wesson: The Original Point And Click Interface "Posting to the 'net these days it's more like shouting into a deep cave in which lives a fire-breathing dragon who hordes Hormel products. You get an echo back with flames and Spam" /* And you'll never guess what the dog had */ /* in its mouth... */ -- Larry Wall in stab.c from the perl source code I'll say it again for the logic impaired. -- Larry Wall "It is easier to port a shell than a shell script." -- Larry Wall Just don't create a file called -rf. :-) -- Larry Wall in <11393@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. -- Larry Wall in <8571@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV> "It would be just like programmers to shorten 'the year 2000 problem' to 'Y2K'-- exactly the kind of thinking that created this situation in the first place." -- Steven C. Meyer "There's no problem so large it can't be solved by killing the user off, deleting their files, closing their account and reporting their REAL earnings to the IRS." -- From the BOFH School YOUR PC's broken and I'VE got a problem? -- The BOFH Slogan It has to be said that people with little computer knowledge should be given little computers. Macintosh error message: Warning. Windows error message: Warning of what is wrong. Unix error message: Warning of how to fix it. kill -9 them all. init will know its own. "God, root, what is difference?" I've always found it easier to hack root. -- Ben Aveling on a.s.r. Unix party tip #23, Alcohol: In the spirit of unix, make it ROOT beer... "Welcome to the first Macworld conference that nobody thinks will be the last Macworld conference." -- David Pogue "There are really only four levels of the OSI model. Everything else is just overhead and underwear." -- Mike DeMaria, on IST 452, Local Area Networks "How do I exit...press Control-Alt-Delete?" -- Overheard from a student who was on a Sun Sparcstation using OpenWindows. "Those who do not understand Unix are condemned to re-invent it, poorly". -- Henry Spencer "Emacs is my operating system, and Linux its device driver." -- Bake Timmons A mouse is a device used to point at the xterm you want to type in. --Kim Alm, a.s.r If God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions? Taunt not the sysadmin, for he can become you and make your life interesting. Question: "Multiline substitution from command line in Perl 4. How?" Answer: "You should upgrade your system administrator to one who is able to install software." -- Tom Phoenix in comp.lang.perl.misc Surely the 4 sysadmins of the apocalypse should be: edquota, rm -rf, kill -9, and shutdown. -- Rob Blake Anyone who slaps a 'this page is best viewed with Browser X' label on a Web page appears to be yearning for the bad old days, before the Web, when you had very little chance of reading a document written on another computer, another word processor, or another network. -- Tim Berners-Lee (inventor of the web) The Internet is here so we can waste time talking about nothing in particular when we should be working. -- Marcus Hill. Any suffiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology. Chaotic Evil means never having to say you're sorry. Microsoft (noun). C+ students programming in c++. -- Mike DeMaria ObASR: Rebooting a server to install a patch to a software package you installed so you wouldn't have to reboot the server. -- Paul R. Joslin, a.s.r The truly paranoid administrator may wish to place motion detectors in the air ducts. -- Practical UNIX & Internet Security, 2nd Edition As an example, I submit: abraxus.com does not exist. Now, hands up everyone who did a lookup of the domain... or registered it in an attempt to prove me wrong. -- Paul Tomko on a.s.r. NT and security should not be used in the same sentence without negation. Sysadmin Tip of the Day: Critical production machines should not be mislabeled. Particularily not something like, "spare". -- Matthew Crosby Ever notice something? Unix comes with compilers. NT comes with Solitaire. -- Adep Do you realize that thats 7.28 x 10^9 bytes of text, every character of which was spam? -- Dan Chin He tried to lpr a GIF file. What does LPR stand for? Lotsa Paper, Retard! Any more questions? -- Brian Testa I think we should all chip in and move the computer science department to Florida. -- Larry Schiller On a more familiar note, I'm learing many new and exciting things about the UNIX operating system. However, I was shocked to discover that few of these things will get me chicks. Sucks to be me! But, seeing as how my life is running a solid PG rating, I'm trying to boost that up to at least PG-13 by increased use of foul language. Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig in the mud. After a while you realize the pig enjoys it. In college, Biology is really Chemistry, Chemistry is really Physics, Physics is really Calculus, and Calculus is really hard. If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button. Life's unfair - but the root password helps! Mountain Dew and doughnuts...because breakfast is the most important meal of the day. "A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street." -- Doug Linder A computer scientist is someone who, when told to "Go to Hell," sees the "go to," rather than the destination, as harmful. /* I can C clearly now */ I had the misfortune of having to attend a SQLSewer course. Ye ghods, it's a noddy system. The limitations are unlimited. -- John Burnham "And 1.1.81 is officially BugFree(tm), so if you receive any bug-reports on it, you know they are just evil lies." -- Linus Torvalds Which reminds me why I want to start working on a beowulf-on-a-backplane design: I want to be the one to write the program called "clusterfsck." -- Adam J. Thornton, a.s.r. Reality is for people who can't face science fiction. Go climb a gravity well. CP/M-86 *screams* on a PII/400. -- Dave Brown, a.s.r. I would think so. The whole floppy image will fit in the L-II cache. -- Mark Atwood, in reply On the wall of the women's restroom on the Enterprise: "Where no man has gone before" The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity - the rest is overhead for the operating system. Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your thumbs. Counting in binary is just like counting in decimal, if you are all thumbs. A bad random number generator: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 4.33e+67, 1, 1, 1 All computers run at the same speed... with the power off. Foolproof operation: All parameters are hard coded. Lisp Users: Due to the holiday, there will be no garbage collection on Monday. The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out. You know it is going to be a bad day when you forget your new password. Where the system is concerned, you are not allowed to ask "Why?" The flow chart is a most thoroughly oversold piece of program documentation. - Frederick Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man Month Mind your own business, Mr. Spock. I'm sick of your halfbreed interference. "I'm fairly sure Linux exists principally because writing an operating system probably seems like a good way to pass the <bignum> months of darkness in Finland." -- Rodger Donaldson Please send all flames, trolls, and complaints to /dev/toilet. One of the joys of posting to alt.tech-support.recovery is that I get fan mail from head hunters and prospective employers. I recently received one such email from a prospective employer looking for a support personality. However, the email started with something like: "I noticed that you like to insult your customers..." followed by an employment proposition. Is insulting the customer currently a job requirement for tech support? -- Jeff Liebermann, a.t.s.r. ObATSR: Netmask of luser: 255.0.0.250 WTF?? <BOGGLE> I can't think of a single reason why someone whould need something like this. My brain starts to lock up when I try to figure it out. Is there a reason, or is my brain starting to explode normal when dealing with such things? -- Justin, a.t.s.r. "The day Microsoft makes something that doesn't suck, is probably the day Microsoft starts making vacuum cleaners." -- Ernst Jan Plugge Windows NT to extend reach update: Microsoft wants customized versions of Windows NT for "embedded" systems such as health and communications equipment. Gives Blue Screen of Death a whole new meaning... Hmm, well we're hoping that once we get our COFFEE protocol running, we'll be able to control all the coffee makers in the world. -- Josh Cohen Well, let's just say, if your VCR is still blinking 12:00, you don't want Linux. "You don't think one of these cyberterrorists could somehow infiltrate a chat room and pretend to be a sexy girl, do you?" -- Donald Davis, Systems Analyst Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer. -- Bruce Graham bit, n: A unit of measure applied to color. Twenty-four-bit color refers to expensive $3 color as opposed to the cheaper 25 cent, or two-bit, color that use to be available a few years ago. -- Nigel Williams, a.s.r. We are experiencing system trouble -- do not adjust your terminal. UNIX is a well appointed kitchen. Windows is a kitchen full of bread machines and other Shopping Channel specialized tools. Which would a cook rather use? -- Peter da Silva "I'm sorry, our software is perfect. The problem must be you. -- Dogbert Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo. Beware of Programmers who carry screwdrivers. -- Leonard Brandwein Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to the earlier joke. I love recursion, it breaks most people's brains. -- Thorfinn <thorfinn@tertius.net.au> Tell init(8) to lock-n-load, we're goin' zombie slaying! Bacteria multiply by simple division. -- Dilbert, t.v. show The population rises exponentially, the number of clues rises geometrically, and the number of clueful rises arithmetically. This is why the world has problems. -- Alistair J. R. Young on ASR. ESR: "I want to live in a world where software doesn't suck." RMS: "Any software that isn't free sucks." Linus: "I'm interested in free beer." Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway. -- Andrew S. Tanenbaum Why must lusers communicate with me? It's like a 56k modem trying to impress a T3... the T3 just doesn't give a shit. -- Stephen Edwards Its a java applet written in C...wow, that broke his head thinking about it. -- Mike DeMaria Female programmers get their bits twiddled. If you think C++ is not overly complicated, just what is a protected abstract virtual base pure virtual private destructor, and when was the last time you needed one? -- Tom Cargill, C++ Journal, Fall 1990. The purpose of a windowing system is to put some amusing fluff around your one almighty emacs window. -- Mark, in gnu.emacs.help You need a leading question like "when would you use macromedia shockwave in a web site", with acceptable answers including "never". Substitute ActiveX, Java applets, Javascript, audio, any Real protocol... -- Peter da Silva, a.s.r. Program in Java. Taste the future. It will keep you awake at night. -- Mike DeMaria We're just sitting here trying to put our PCjrs in a pile and burn them. And the damn things won't burn. That's the only thing IBM did right with it, they made it fireproof. -- William Bowman, Spinnaker Software If NT is the answer, you don't understand the question.